I am a mum, that does not sleep, well it feels like I do not sleep, but I do, but not well, probably an average of 3-4 hours, some nights are better some are soul destroyingly worse.
I have a wonderful life, a beautiful family – my ‘Firstborn’ (because he was here first)
will be leaving his teenage years and officially be an adult this very month is 22!, my daughter ‘Smalls’ (a nickname from my partner, she has always been on the small younger looking side) became a teenager last year is 15! and my baby ‘Golden Boy’ (hair colour, as well as being pretty amazing) just hit the terrible twos is days away from being 4, and we all live with Golden Boys wonderful daddy ‘Biggy’ who although a bit of a know it all, looks after us, fills our little world happiness, and just makes life that extra bit special. We have a lovely home, family and friends and I find we are always planning or looking forward to our next day/night out, holiday, experience.
So what do I have to complain about? I am tired. I realise everyone is tired, life is exhausting! But I find I am in this self-obsessed place of drained, mind-numbing tiredness all the time, it is affecting my work, my family, my life. And there is nothing that I can do about it, I have been an insomniac since my teenage years, and it is getting worse with age, and I think with age I am just getting less tolerant.
So what to do? live with it, cope with it, it isn’t an illness, I am a healthy young(ish) lady, stop moaning, I need to think of the positives, and I have so so many. So as a blog addict (I am really quite obsessed with other peoples blogs) why don’t I have somewhere to vent – so I may moan occasionally, this could be a distraction for me (especially in the mddle of the night) and most importantly somewhere to put all the positives in my life.
So here I am.
I also have a list making habit, no it is not a habit, it is an addiction, I have notebooks everywhere; hidden in drawers and cupboards, under the bed, sofas, on coffee tables, it is ridiculous, I list everything from the general to-do list, to cooking, books, clothes, films, activities for work, the list making is a way I relax, but these lists are chaotic with no sense, as I am forever losing them and starting again – so why not put some on here, especially my recipe and activities for the kids as I really do need a record of them, that will give me something to do in the night…