Biggy has been away for work for over 24 hours and he will be away for almost another 24. Whenever he tells me he will be away I have a quick reaction of “but what about me! I will be on my own, again, he better bloody miss me while he is off seeing people, eating and drinking and socialising – yeah yeah it is work”. Then I think, I can do what I want, I can spend an hour in the bath, watch what I want, go to bed early and read lots. But what do I actually do…
- As soon as Golden Boy is in bed I do have my long long bath. Which is disturbed halfway through as GB starts crying for me, so I have to run dripping upstairs to give him a different book and be told he doesn’t want to “beep” (sleep).
- Flick through many programmes, not finding anything I feel like watching.
- Eat 2 chocolate bars, not because I am hungry, just because I am greedy and there is no-one there to feel ashamed in front of, and then feel ill for the rest of the evening.
- Write a couple of blog posts without having to pretend I am doing paperwork for my job, and then feel guilt and pressure as I get more and more behind with my paperwork.
- Leave the washing up until the morning. And then see it is there in the morning, sigh…
- Have to turn the tv up louder as the normal accompaniment of noisy eating and moaning at every person and programme on the tv is surprisingly sadly not there.
- Go to bed early as planned but the books and magazines spread out on the bed are also not holding my attention, I get to keep the light on as long as I like and I can turn it on when I like during the night but I think I would prefer the noisy lump being next to me. And even though he isn’t there to disturb in the night I still go and wander round the house in the silly hours.
- Bring Golden Boy into bed with me for a cuddle.
- There is no-one to keep me awake for those extra 30 mins I get in bed once they have got up. It would seem I am awake anyway.
Come home you noisy, belligerent know it all, it seems I need you here.